Self-love is not easy to come by. Perhaps you are struggling with giving yourself enough regard because you just can’t seem to find or uphold your inherent value. Today, we’ll talk about self-love techniques that can help you live life in a happier, fuller, more peaceful way.
10 Techniques on How To Improve Self-love
1. Distance Yourself from The Unhelpful
To start loving yourself, you have to withdraw from the causes of negativity. If you are in a negative environment, then it will be better to distance yourself physically. If that is not possible, then the next best thing is through psychological distance.
You don’t need to respond to their negative actions and you don’t need to open yourself to them. It’s not about what happens to you. It’s about how you react to them. No one can hurt you without your consent, and if you are easily letting other people take away your peace of mind, you’re like giving them the ultimate power in your life. If you love yourself, you need to claim that power and remember that only you can define you. Whatever other people say about you, it doesn’t define you. More often than not, it defines them.
2. Establish A Connection with Your Inner Self
From the word ‘self-love’, it is evident that you need to connect with yourself. It’s easier said than done. You can start off by asking questions about yourself rhetorically, such as ‘why am I like this’ or ‘how did I end up this way’ and ponder for answers. There are books like How to Declutter Your Mind: Secrets to Stop Overthinking, Relieve Anxiety, and Achieve Calmness and Inner Peace that can help you.
Next, you can proceed to a more in-depth analysis. You have to recall what leads you to ask those questions about yourself. The more you recall and wonder, the more you are closer to reaching the edge: whether you move forward or self-destruct.
Obviously, you have to choose moving forward and with that, you begin to start accepting the facts in life and understand more of its patterns. This shall be a regular practice until it becomes second nature. The best situation is when you are alone with your thoughts, either in a quiet room, on a beautiful scenery or even in a long commute. Introspection is important as it is through it that you get to discover more of yourself and open the doors of self-growth and maturity.
3. Learn Acceptance
As you are talking with your inner self and have more meaningful reflections, you may start learning the art of acceptance. It will be beneficial to list the things you like and don’t like about yourself.
Try to sort out your list of dislikes according to what is natural and what is controllable. For things that can be controlled, like attitude or weight, make adjustments so that you can arrive at the desired result.
For things that are natural, like your facial features, try to learn how the imperfections are a part of who you are and your identity. And know that your real worth is not measured by how the cultural context of beauty is formed. If you strive to become the most wonderful human being you can be, you’ll naturally glow from within and your high vibrations will attract all the goodness and beauty the world has to offer.
4. Keep Being Motivated
The best way to stay motivated in loving yourself is affirmation. Affirmation is a psychological method of acknowledging the positive features you possess. Affirmations are also a good way to enable the law of attraction. By affirming certain messages and feeding your subconscious with positive declarations, you are most likely going to achieve those affirmations. After all, the subconscious couldn’t differentiate the past, the present, and the future, and by feeding it with the notions that are helpful for you, you are programming your mind to your favor. This is why negative self-talk is destructive. Remember, what you think, you become.
You can make affirmations yourself. Make it simple and impactful like ‘I can do this!’ or ‘No one can bring me down’. If ever you find it difficult to construct your own affirmations, you can search for a list online. You can even search for videos of inspiring speeches and heartwarming messages as reference.
Start with these 72 best self-love affirmations we put together for you.
5. Practice Self-Care
Self-care is not an option in the pursuit of genuine self-love. Self-care is a must. We all have different ways to do self-care. It could be having a massage, indulging in shopping spree, or simply reading a book with a cup of coffee at hand.
The bottom line is to intentionally do something kind and thoughtful to yourself. More often than not, we easily give love and care to others, but sometimes, we forget to extend the same kindness and regard to ourselves. Self-care naturally rejuvenates you, and you are not only helping yourself if you take care of yourself. You are also helping everyone around you as you naturally become a more functional, happier, and saner person if your self-care needs are intentionally met.
6. Set Up Boundaries
This is one of my favorite self-love techniques. This means teaching other people how to treat you. The best way to do that is to not tolerate the things you are actually not okay with. Remember you are treated according to how you tolerate each treatment. If you don’t healthily express your needs and thoughts, other people will assume you are okay with being treated that way or you are someone who doesn’t mind such dealing.
The thing is, not all people, who seemingly try to disappoint you, do a ‘bad’ deed because they intentionally want to harm you. Okay, there are people like that, but sometimes, you get disappointed or upset because you didn’t let other people know that you get upset about those matters. It’s a communication problem, and as long as you learn how to communicate your needs and thoughts without causing chaos, you can easily set boundaries while maintain healthy relationships with those around you.
7. Adapt to Situations
Even though you practice self-love techniques, problems and trials will always be there. You may be motivated now, but when you are in a new situation that is more challenging, you might get shaken up again. This is where your adaptability comes in handy.
If you love yourself, you need to learn to become more flexible because if you don’t, the very person you are harming the most, is no one else but yourself. They key is to focus only on the things that are within your zone of control. Anything you cannot control should be either accepted or addressed. Be proactive and do your best to shape your situation according to your liking, but if it can’t really happen your way, try to accept and learn to choose peace instead. Essentially, you’re just hurting yourself if you try to want something that you can’t have or something that is out of your control.
8. Provide Healthy Outlet for Emotions
Self-love doesn’t require you to repress your emotions but to handle them well. The best way to deal with emotions is to express them by either channeling rage through exercise, or expressing anger through writing, or actually expressing such negative emotions by venting and talking to someone you trust. Sometimes, things don’t have to be solved. They just have to be expressed. If it’s applicable to you, you can also try praying. Anything that helps you let your emotions out, that will be helpful.
9. Understand Your Spirituality
A human can be categorized as this: believers of religion or non-believers. There is no harm in having no religion or believing in no god or deity. Yet, no one can deny that the concept of ‘faith’ exists. Your spirituality is tied to your faith, and whatever you believe in, it can affect your views in life.
For example: Catholics based their practices on their Holy Bible. In times of self-doubt, even if a psychologist advice something, a Catholic might be searching the Bible for answers.
Spirituality and self-love go hand-in-hand. As you grow spiritually, your love also grows and vice versa. What is spirituality to begin with? It’s basically the quality of giving regard to the human soul or spirit instead of the physical or material things. Things like prayer, meditation, and even connection to nature can help you explore your spirituality in subtle ways.
10. Be an Example
Upon practicing self-love techniques, you’ll notice you become a more positive and healthy person within. And that positivity will radiate outwards. You are not only benefitting yourself, but you are also becoming a better someone around the people you love and you work with. Whether they realize it or not, if you are consistent with your energy, your vibrations will also be a good influence to them as they interact with and get close to you. After all, you don’t have to do anything too grand to contribute positively to the world. Something as simple as becoming a better you and becoming a good example can already go a long way.
Self-love takes time and practice. Give these self-love techniques a try and improve yourself and your life, one step at a time.